Anal is one of my favourite things to do, I enjoy receiving as well as giving. But sadly many people don’t have a great first experience, which puts some off for life. So today I’m going to share some advice from my years of experience.
Anal sex can be a lot of fun and a very intimate experience, particularly I feel when pegging your partner. It can give them a sensation that they may not have experienced before and is still seen as a very taboo thing for men. I say it’s time to break that taboo and start enjoying it. After all, that’s where the mans g-spot is.
Lube is the first and in my mind one of the most important parts, it can be the difference between an enjoyable experience and an unpleasant one. I don’t like to use water based lube for this, it’s too thin and does not seem to last very on. While you can never use too much lube you’ll find yourself using more if you stick with this choice. Of course you have to be careful that your lube is suitable for the toys you are using (if you are using them) for a good all-round one that is toy safe I always use Boys Own Extra Thick I found that it does not come out of the pump too well so moved it to a glass jar.
One lube I cannot stress enough to avoid is a numbing one, while these are often marketed for anal play they are quite risky. If you have been numbed at all it you risk not feeling something painful and pain is the first indicator that something isn’t right. And it takes away from the enjoyment as you are no longer feeling all of the sensations.
Spit, it may be fun but it is not an adequate lube! If you enjoy the humiliation that goes along with it, as I do, remember that you have to still use a proper lube.
First of all latex or latex free gloves, these protect my fingers from any bacteria and them from my nails. The skin is very delicate here and can tear easily. If you have long acrylics like I often do, a ball of cotton wool in the fingertips of the gloves will make it safer. Once the gloves are on I apply plenty of lube and then apply some to the hole and gently slide a finger in. I slowly add more fingers when they are relaxed enough and start to feel loose. How many fingers I use depends on the person and the size of the toy I’m preparing them for.
It is also important to remember that the anus has many sphincters and just because the initial hole has relaxed it does not mean that they all are, which is important to remember with longer toys as this can cause a lot of pain, but if you go slow and gentle you will get there.
Any toy used for anal should have a wide flared base. This is to stop the toy being sucked up inside the body. That’s an A&E visit you really don’t want to have to make. There are plenty of great anal toys available on the market and I have a huge collection of plugs in different materials which all give different sensations. Metal and glass are a personal favourite as it is easy to clean and come in a wide range of beautiful designs. The only downside is they have no flexibility.
I will always advise against jelly toys of any kind. They are impossible to get properly clean as they will absorb any bacteria and are harder to clean. I also find that no matter what you do you fill find stray hairs or bits of lint and fluff stuck to them no matter how many times you wipe them down. They do however have the flexibility that metal and glass do not have. If you do decide to use these toys then always use them with a condom to keep them clean.
Obviously with any kind of anal play there’s a chance it can get a little, well messy really. Now while you can buy an anal douche they aren’t too good for you in the long term as they will eventually mess your good bacteria (yes there is a delicate balance up there not just delicate skin!) so the best advice I can give here is go to the toilet before you start, and keep baby wipes on hand. It’s a risk you take with this kind of play and accidents happen.