Part of dealing with this is self care, taking time out for yourself to recharge. It’s a big part of why I’ve not been around much of late. Remember that it’s absolutely fine to take a step back every now and then, Especially if everything is feeling a little too much. And this applies to everyone from the part time kinkster through to the lifestylers and pros.We all need a holiday for the head. Taking a step back can be hard, of course it can also be easy. For me of late it was pretty easy, but that might also be down to just not having a moment free to even make the decision to take a step back. What can be the hard part is actually getting back into it.
Sometimes it’s as simple as just picking a date and saying that’s it I’m doing this and it all just falls back into place. (Don’t we just love those times?) Others it takes just a little more work, where do you start picking up the pieces to get back to where you were before? It can feel intimidating, or hard to get that head screwed back on. Take it a step at a time, don’t feel the need to do everything at once because you’re just going to feel burnt out and drained all over again. BDSM should be fun no matter how seriously you take it. Otherwise it’s just another chore to add to the list we already have.
So where do you begin? First off, if you’re in a relationship talk to your partner, which you should be doing anyway if you’re feeling low or drained. Talk about what you miss, get on the same page and start getting back into what you love.
Next up for me is doing what I’ve missed the most, or what I really love. For me that’s latex, if I haven’t worn it for a while I start with giving everything a good clean, which is just good latex care (I’ll be writing about this at a later date) and then moving on to picking what I want to wear. Even if I’m just home alone and have nothing more planned than writing or relaxing. It makes me feel sexy and dominant and that’s the best place to begin. If you do what you really love you’ll be enjoying yourself again in no time.
If you’re still feeling a bit adrift and nothing seems to be quite working then there’s some fantastic books on topping, bottoming or just general BDSM that can be a huge help. I recommend The New Topping Book, The New Bottoming Book, or the classic Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns.
But most of all don’t be scared to admit if you’ve gone back a little too early and you aren’t as ready as you thought. If you have any suggestions for getting back into BDSM after a break, or books to add to my list above then leave a comment and share your advice.