I debated posting about this for a while, but I figure I should explain why my posting can be a little sparse sometimes and my Twitter can be so quiet. My brain really just isn’t up to it sometimes, and here is why. Before we get into this I’m going to talk about sexual assault.
I have PTSD as a result of being raped, I was formally diagnosed three years ago. This year I was put on a list to have therapy for it. I used to have a high sex drive that has more or less vanished, it comes back briefly every now and again but I’m not the same person I was. Of course I’m not, no one that goes through trauma ever is. I went through sexual anhedonia and vaginismus which thankfully have passed and I’m now working on trying to get a bit more back to the person I was before all of this happened.
It has been a long and hard road to get to where I am now, I’m back to having regular sex but can still struggle to get wet. Although I am now able to not just orgasm but enjoy it and I don’t tense up which is great. It is only in the past 18 months that I have started to enjoy sex again, and prior to that I took about a year away from sex altogether. So sometimes I might be a little quieter than I would like to be, because sadly that is just where I am now. I’m human and sometimes I struggle. But I am slowly healing and coming through to the other side of it all so I can go back to work next year.