The new year is coming and maybe you’re thinking of getting involved with your local BDSM community as your new years resolution. Today I’m going to give you a few bits of advice before you go to your first ever munch so you have the best possible time you can have.
Do your research
Get yourself onto FetLife and see what is in your local area, if you’re lucky enough to live in a city there are probably plenty to choose from. If you live in or around London, England there is a website just dedicated to London events. Go check it out here. There are some that are just general and open to all, others may have a focus on rope or hypnosis. Find what is the best fit for you.
Do dress appropriately
Remember you are probably going to be in a local bar or pub, dress the same way you would if you were going for a drink any other time and under any other circumstance. No one wants to see you in your finest latex top with the perfectly located holes for your nipples while they’re sipping on their cheap glass of wine. And it might get the event banned from the venue. It’s a quick way to give yourself a really bad name.
Don’t treat it like a meat market
A munch is a social event, it’s to get together with old friends and meet new ones, it is not a hook up event. Sure that happens, I’ve met partners through munches once upon a time, but that was never my goal when I went out that night. I’ve said this every time I’ve gone on a night out, I’m out to have fun I am not on the pull. I highly recommend this attitude as a general thing if you want to have a good night out. If you’re just going to use a munch as a place to pick up, quite frankly, you’re just going to look like a cunt.
Don’t get wasted
Don’t get so drunk you can barely stand. Actually, I’m just going to advise you to never do this, ever, it’s really bad for you. Auntie Hazard has spoken.
Do be polite
Back in my munch days I would occasionally get a message from someone who saw on the FetLife page that I was going to the event and was going for the first time. Most of the time it would be a friendly message asking if they could come and talk to me as they didn’t know anyone. And of course I would say yes, I remember turning up to places and not knowing a single person and it’s scary. And then there was the other kind of message. The ones who just wanted to fuck me and used meeting at the munch as an excuse to message me with gross comments. Never saw them at any events unsurprisingly, and this leads me onto my final point quite nicely.
Don’t be scared to call out creeps
We all know from this previous post about my feelings towards the culture of silence in the BDSM community so I’ll keep this kind of brief, if someone is being a creep and making you uncomfortable talk to the organisers! And if the organisers don’t do anything about it then leave, don’t go back and do warn others in the future.
So now you have a few helpful points all you need to do is get out there and make some new friends and most of all, enjoy yourself.
If you’ve got any points you would like to add or have any questions then please do leave them in the comments.