I’ve touched on this subject in the past when I talked about exhibitionism, but it’s great to be revisiting it with more of a focus on public play itself. It took me years to feel comfortable to play at fetish events. In fact for the first two years my then partner could only get me out once a month and I would be on the verge of being sick from nerves the whole way there. I went because he enjoyed it, but I hated it.
In my next relationship I started feeling more confidant and safe with public play, we talked in depth about my fears and started slowly. He was very patient and constantly reassured me that I was safe. It was no longer about them wanting to play with other people which I wasn’t comfortable with, and just about us having fun.
After that ended I still enjoyed public play for years. I’ve always preferred domming to subbing as I felt safer. It’s been over three years now and I just don’t miss it. I had a bad experience that many years later I still struggle to talk about and I didn’t go clubbing for a very long time. I did try to go back a few times after that but my enjoyment was gone. It still hasn’t returned and at this point I wonder if it ever will.
Public play is not a part of my relationship now, neither of us have an interest in it past considering a play event so he could possibly be suspended. My partner has never been to a play event and he knows that if he ever wants to go to one I would be willing to go along so he could check one out. But it’s certainly not something we are looking into in any way.
Check out these other great Kink of the Week posts on public play here.