Today is my second anniversary, I am over in my part of London and he is in his. What is usually only an hour or so long journey feels like it could be hundreds of miles away in this moment.
My darling, I miss you so much that it hurts my soul. All the plans that we had for this day being put on hold and seemingly no end in sight makes this day, which should be so happy the hardest one since being kept apart from you. The only positive I can take is that when this is over we will have saved money to have a truly amazing day when we are united again. Whenever that may be.
As anyone that knows me will confirm, I have never had a second anniversary before, and I was looking forward to this more than anything else this year, more than I have looked forward to just about anything in years. I am reminded that we will have many more anniversaries together to celebrate and they are right but it does not ease the sadness I feel right now. It feels like I have entered into a long distance relationship, something I don’t think either of us could have expected to happen six months ago.
But I should not be focusing on that today, even if that is very tough. I should, and will be focusing on all of the positives, that you make me laugh harder than I’ve laughed before, to the point that I can’t breathe and think I might just hurt myself. That since meeting you I have never felt so calm, even when I’m in a bad mood you always seem to know how to relax me and help me let go of things. Something I didn’t think I was capable of doing. I’ve never felt safer in my life, and I didn’t think I could ever feel safe after so many years of feeling anything but. I hope I can make you feel even half as good as you so easily do for me. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that happen.
Happy anniversary my darling. I love you so much.