Just a quick content warning, as the title says there’s talk about PTSD in this post and a quick mention of sexual abuse. There won’t be any details and it is brief but if these things might upset you maybe give this post a miss.
I didn’t post last Monday, a few days before something set off my PTSD (I’m loathe to use the word triggered because that medical term has been so hijacked by a bunch of super right wing bullies) and even thinking about sex was just not going to happen. That’s why last Friday’s post managed to have nothing to do with sex or kink while being a Kink of the Week post. I was just not in a good place but wanted to do a post anyway.
I also tried masturbating every night for about four or five nights in a row and while I could orgasm I just didn’t feel anything from it. My body was going through the motions and that is pretty depressing in and of itself. It’s also not uncommon either, it’s something that I’ve been through in the past when my PTSD was more of a presenting problem than something in the background that I am aware of but doesn’t too badly effect my life. It’s why a couple of reviews might be pushed back until I can say for sure it’s completely passed just to give those toys a fair shake.
This is where the orgasm control comes in and BDSM can work for me and my mental health instead of against, something a lot of therapists have just decided for me. I trust my partner completely, he’s only ever given me reasons to keep trusting him time and again. This is why when I’m in a very delicate place I can still give a big piece of control over and trust him not to be an arsehole about it. Orgasm control is something he is not into, but he understands that it’s something that recently I’ve actually needed. So how and why does it work for me and my current bout of PTSD?
Well something in my brain needs to hear that it’s ok to not just orgasm but enjoy it and being given permission from my partner who I love and trust so much makes it possible. It’s what got me through that block that sure my brain would have eventually but it would have taken a lot longer. I’m not going to sit here and recommend that you try it too if you’re going through a similar thing because this is something that has only worked for me in the relationship I’m in now and I have been struggling with PTSD for many years.