• Monthly Round Up

    Monthly Round Up January

    The first month of the year is over, we’re still under a fairly strict lockdown and I’ve not been up to a hell of a lot. But I’ll be having a crack at keeping this whole monthly round up thing going anyway, because I haven’t just been sat in bed growing my fingernails and losing political arguments with my toaster. My Birthday I know I talked about my birthday already but I’m going over it again because it’s my blog and I can. It was a really lovely day, even with the circumstances being what they were. It had good food, I was spoilt and I got to go for…

  • Bimbo Diaries

    Bimbo Diaries Part One

    I’ve been slowly (very slowly) working towards having the body and lifestyle that I’ve wanted for so many years and I’ve always either been talked out of or not felt brave enough to go for. But a few weeks ago I decided to just embrace my inner alternative slut. So what has that entailed, so far these are the changes I’m making; Exercise – I don’t like numerical goals because I I don’t think they’re healthy but I want to lose a bit of weight on my stomach and build some muscle in a couple of places. Deepthroat practice – I really want to be able to deepthroat and I’m…

  • Personal

    Happy Birthday To Me

    Sorry there was only one post last week, I am trying to post three times a week but only if I have something worth writing and lately there just hasn’t been much to talk about. But yesterday was my birthday and all things considered I had a really lovely day. Now I know most people hit 34 (yeah I’m not too sure how that happened either) and don’t get so excited about their birthday, if anything I think I actually look forward to it more now. And last year I was too sick to even get out of bed unless it was to shuffle to the bathroom or to curl…

  • Memes

    I Love the Way You Smell

    Smell is a really important thing for me, it is for most of us. Except the guy who lives downstairs who has no sense of smell. And an ex but he’s a twat so lets not think about him for too long. If the smell isn’t right it’s just not going to happen. Smell isn’t necessarily a turn on for me but when it comes to setting the scene smell is important, I cannot get in the mood if it smells like a festival toilet on the hottest day of the year. Even if it’s just a scented candle it all adds to it. Unless it’s lavender, that might actually…

  • Everything Else

    The Spiritual and the Sexual

    When I take care of my spiritual self everything else tends to fall into place around me. Of late I have let the former slip and I’m convinced it’s part of what has fucked up the latter. Self care is one of the most important things we can do, especially at times like these when it feels like the world could end at any damn moment. I’m currently trying to rebuild those routines that keep me from climbing the walls and feeling like I’m stuck somewhere on the ceiling with a cobweb. Now I’m not one of those super spiritual, always seems to have their lives together types. Damn I…

  • BDSM

    How I Got My Bounce Back

    Over the Christmas period I decided that I had had enough, I was and still am healing from years of abuse but felt like I had hit a roadblock and was no longer healing but just sort of sat where I was. I felt I had basically gotten everything I could out of professional psychological help and just did not know where I was meant to go next with moving on. And then I had my lightbulb moment. I’ve been into bimbofication for years and been dipping my toes in and out of it over the years, and always been talked out of it by partners who whinged about “not…

  • Memes

    Quote Quest Week 30

    We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love Tom Robbins How do you create the perfect love? What even is the perfect love? I don’t think I know. Is perfect love the support we give each other? is it going to all of your stand up gigs? Is it you rubbing my feet because they always seem to feel achy? Is it holding you when you’re stressed? Is it you waking me up from nightmares and calming me down again? Or maybe it’s making each other laugh so hard there are tears rolling down our cheeks and our sides hurting. I don’t know, maybe…

  • Everything Else

    Two Years In

    It’s the blog’s second anniversary. Actually, I think’s it’s just past but shhh, I won’t tell if you don’t. It’s been a crazy couple of years and this is certainly not where I expected to be two years on. So, what have I learned in that time and where are things going? Well, I’ve learned that I really enjoy writing reviews, when I did my first reviews way back in 2019 I know they weren’t particularly good. Now I am writing reviews I’m really proud of. I’m really hoping that I can get to work with more awesome people and write more reviews in the future. I don’t currently have…

  • rant

    Maybe the Problem Was You

    “It’s your fault for being so hard to come.” Fasten your seatbelts gang, because this is the first rant of 2021. That above quote is what my ex told me when I was sick of his selfish in bed ways, and I’ve known a few fuck awful lays who think that putting in no effort to get me off equated to it being my fault for not having an orgasm. Because of course the problem wasn’t them. Except on behalf of every unfulfilled person you’ve ever fucked the problem was absolutely you. I can have an orgasm in less than thirty seconds, getting me off is actually pretty fucking easy.…

  • Everything Else

    I Started Keeping A Wanking Diary

    Well, hello 2021, please for the love of every god and goddess be better than 2020. So I’ve started keeping a tracker of my wanking habits, because of course I have. What else am I going to do to keep me sane? But there’s more to it than just giving myself something a little more to do. I know some people keep a tracker of their sex lives but sex is a bit off the table at the moment with the state of the world and all that (I’m writing this in about mid December 2020) so wanking it is. And it kind of makes sense to do this anyway…