Maybe the Problem Was You

“It’s your fault for being so hard to come.”

Fasten your seatbelts gang, because this is the first rant of 2021. That above quote is what my ex told me when I was sick of his selfish in bed ways, and I’ve known a few fuck awful lays who think that putting in no effort to get me off equated to it being my fault for not having an orgasm. Because of course the problem wasn’t them. Except on behalf of every unfulfilled person you’ve ever fucked the problem was absolutely you. I can have an orgasm in less than thirty seconds, getting me off is actually pretty fucking easy.

These ex’s were the kind to hump away and not bother actually doing anything that would get me off every time and let’s make this a rallying cry, we do not have to put up with shit sex any more. Speak out, tell them what you need and if they try and fully lay the blame at your feet then quite frankly, stop fucking them, you can do better. Because we’ve just lived through the shittiest year we will probably ever go through and if we can take anything away from it is that life is short, we don’t know what’s around the corner and we should be doing more to enjoy ourselves and be happy. You deserve it.

Now I’m not saying those that haven’t got you off are immediately bad at sex, sometimes I can’t get off and I know that’s not my partner’s fault, and he will keep putting the effort in and do his best to make it happen. If they’re making the effort and their willing to learn how to get you off and accept that you need to work towards what you want then they’re a good one. Keep a hold of them. The thing is, it’s a pretty rare thing that you’re going to be a perfect sexual match from shag one, it takes time to build that. You need to learn what the other person likes, and ladies, you aren’t excluded from this, and neither is anyone else on the gender spectrum.

The thing is, learn what your partner likes, what they don’t like, don’t just blame them for your lack of effort. Going forward can we all agree to be having the best sex we can. Once we’re able to start fucking again anyway, and who knows when that will be.

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