rant

The Relationship Scale

I have recently unfollowed a few people who have no problem shaming healthy, happy relationships because they are monogamous. Relationship shaming is gross, don’t do it. People have their own reasons for being monogamous or not and there is toxicity in non-monogamy as well as monogamy. We seem to treat them as different sides of the same coin. But, maybe if we look at it more as a scale we can all try and get on a little better and stop being dicks.

Very few things in life are binary right? So why are we not treating relationships like that? In the relationship I have with my partner we don’t fuck other people we don’t have relationships with other people. That doesn’t mean the rest of the world does not exist, I actively encourage him to watch porn and support porn performers and I am working on my back catalogue to sell at the moment. Something he actively encourages. We’re at the monogamous end but not right at the very end. I’d say that’s people who feel that watching porn is cheating.

Further on from that you have people who will have threesomes with their partner, the non-monogamy is always done together. And I kind of get the if you do have other sexual partners the romantic partner is always involved. Not something that appeals even a little bit but I kind of get why it would to others.

Moving on from that you have more open relationships where you’re fucking outside of the relationship and there is communication and your partner knows who you are fucking. Moving on from there you start getting into the polyamory end of the scale. You’ve got maybe two relationships and your partners have partners too. Then way at the other end it’s polyamory and open relationships.

And I’m sure I’m missing something in there and if I’ve missed your dynamic I apologise. Add it to the comments, let me know where you are on the scale. And remember, not everyone thinks like you and if you don’t want a certain kind of relationship, don’t date that kind of person. Not everyone is kinky, not everyone is vanilla, not everyone is going to have the same kinks as you even if you are kinky. Not everyone wants just one partner, not everyone wants multiple partners. And if you do need to shame or push your relationship choices on others, take a good long hard look at yourself and work out where you need to do some work to stop being a wanker.

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