This week I’m handing the blog over to my partner the newly named Shadow Biohazard.
‘Seduction Squad’ is a porn parody of the 2016 movie ‘Suicide Squad’, from Kaizen XXX Film.
‘Alex Hunter’ (Rick Flag in the movie) assembles the otherwise all-female squad to rescue to the city Mayor’s daughter from ‘The Jester’.
The squad starts with ‘Prank’ (Harley Quinn) and ‘Viper’ (not clear who they’re meant to be), provide the first fuck while waiting for deployment and running rampant around the prison base. The first thing noticed is Alessa Savage as Harley-Quinn (Prank is a crap name, how about ‘Harley-Quim’?) is by far the most entertaining part aside from the shagging of course. She’s hyper energetic, has dialogue in keeping with the Quinn character, and fucks with more conviction than any other cast member. Her and Ava Austen are the only same-sex coupling in the picture, and feature in a long bare-brick corridor, which feels original, and the echo effect amplifies their groans, which is excellent. Savage and Austen go from kissing to ass licking, cunnilingus and fingering while teasing each other with taunts and some hair pulling, though I find the spit play a bit off (but hey, some are into that). Savage even giggles like Quinn would mid-coitus. There is a scissoring act performed vertically which oddly feels in keeping with what a character like Quinn would do in the throes of passion. Their location doesn’t look very comfortable but both seem to enjoy it so much it feels sexy regardless. Great opening fuck.
Their shag ends abruptly and they’re brought back to the rest of the team featuring Sparks (a female Diablo) played by Misha Cross and Kattana, who has the same name as her counter part, and played by Lucia Love. Hunter takes them into a low budget shoot out which in fairness, is pretty funny, except for when Viper gets shot and killed. It’s disappointing to see her go, given it doesn’t affect the plot and now there’s one less shagger about.
Alex Hunter and Sparks patch up in a bathroom and begin the second fuck. Sparks is half stripped into an outfit of a corset top, goggles and gladiator boots, and immediately rammed from behind, which feels is a refreshingly fast approach, and soon develops to blowjob, and then kissing; a curious backward order. Sparks rides Hunter on the floor for less than a minute and then fumbles about looking for a position. Of all the scenes, this one feels the most awkward. The lighting makes Cross look exceptionally pale as though the white paint on the walls has rubbed off on her. They also have very limited expression aside from groans and saying ‘fuck!’, doesn’t feel as intense as the previous scene.
I’m not expecting a porn film with a narrative to pay strict attention to story detail, but sex initiated at the right time in a story can be deeply arousing, more so than hardcore porn. Many films are praised for eroticism in this way (Bound or Mullholland Drive to name two) and they don’t even have their actors fuck. If you’re bothering to include story, have it done competently, there are many aspiring writers out there with such ability.
Next we have Harley meeting the Jester, who discovers the Mayors’ daughter is in on the kidnapping and they have a cat fight, which the Jester and his henchman watch with popcorn (gave me a laugh). Sadly the actor playing Jester slurs his speech and isn’t as over the top as you might think. Savage performs blowjob, handjob, 69 and strips naked while Jester stays clothed with his fly undone. This drives in a feel of power play, with Jester as dom and Quinn as sub, again feeling in character. Savage rides cock for some time with great energy and gives a feeling of real enjoyment. Again, Quinn and her partner taunt each other during sex and these are the parts the movie is at its best, both for entertainment, arousal and for reflecting the source material. The jesters’ balls are practically pink as plums by the end, should have let him remove the leather trousers.
Following this they reveal the Jester’s plan is to ransom the daughter in exchange for releasing nuclear weapons, which is dumb but at least mounts the tension to a climax in which the Jester and the daughter are both blown up, and we finally see Alex Hunter take a turn with Katana in a victory fuck. Starting with blowjob, tits sucking, fingering and soon riding cock. Both of these two are mostly clothed during this scene, though thankfully Lucia Loves’ breasts are exposed and bounced a lot, full marks for that. The setting is red and heavy with shadows, and perhaps due to the set being larger, the camera makes Hunter’s cock look bigger too. After riding they go onto ass licking, doggy style, and cunnilingus and sideways on the floor. Definitely ends on a high note. Even if Quinn is the one who truly earned a celebratory fucking.
They end with the surviving characters arming themselves up ready for another mission. Is there a sequel that I’m not aware of?
Given the limited cast, it seems a wasted opportunity to make this a parody of Suicide Squad which is known for a large ensemble cast, and not feature more than two in a shag at once. Anyone curious to see porn parodies of Deadshot (Cumshot?) or Killer Croc (Killer Cock?) or Captain Boomerang (keep that) may be disappointed. What’s the use in a parody if you’re going to leave out the movie nerds’ precious details? Oddly enough, the cast would have been much more suited to doing ‘Birds of Prey’, but if you’re after a sexy watch with a crazy bitch, the Quinn segments definitely provide.
Given the name ‘Seduction Squad’, doesn’t have much seduction. Should have been ‘Suicide Squirt’.