• Personal

    Date Night

    We don’t really do a proper date night often enough and it’s a habit we need to get back into. But last night certainly brought it back with a bang. We agreed that since we had both been paid a trip to a local restaurant we both love should be something we both do. Especially as we’ve both been guilty of just having evenings in. And me of increasingly early nights. I brought on of my butt plugs along as I’ve been wearing them more and more lately. The Plug B by Godemiche in particular. But last night it was a sparkly pink gem one. While Shadow had a much…

  • Personal,  Sex

    Learning to Fuck Better

    I’ve been with my partner for well over three years now and we’ve recently been in a bit of a sexual rut of late. I’ve been feeling more and more pressure to orgasm as with my partners phimosis he can struggle and we have both felt things have gotten a little samey. But after a good talk about it we had one of the best fucks I think we’ve ever had. Shadow was very understanding about my feeling a pressure to perform and my worry about hurting his feelings if I didn’t orgasm and we both agreed that we need to use my huge collection of kinky gear (although he…

  • rant

    The Relationship Scale

    I have recently unfollowed a few people who have no problem shaming healthy, happy relationships because they are monogamous. Relationship shaming is gross, don’t do it. People have their own reasons for being monogamous or not and there is toxicity in non-monogamy as well as monogamy. We seem to treat them as different sides of the same coin. But, maybe if we look at it more as a scale we can all try and get on a little better and stop being dicks. Very few things in life are binary right? So why are we not treating relationships like that? In the relationship I have with my partner we don’t…

  • Personal

    The Collar I Wore Once

    Yes this was supposed to be an Organotoy review but I’ve been ill and unable to wank or even think about wanking since Thursday evening so I haven’t had a chance to use them yet. As soon as I’m well again I’ll be getting the first review up. But for now I’m going to do something I usually wouldn’t, talk about something from a previous relationship. Recently I was looking through Etsy and saw a collar, it was the one my ex brought me. It was black leather with circular cut outs with dark red satin in them. It was lovely. But something I would never have picked for myself…

  • Personal

    It Took So Long

    For a long time I didn’t talk about my relationship here and now I feel like that is slowly changing and I’m glad that it is. I didn’t talk about it because I wanted something that resembled privacy, I didn’t talk about it because what if he dumps me, breaks my heart and he’s all over this blog and I just want to abandon it?” But since I finally started sharing bits of our relationship on here I’m really glad that he gave me the go-ahead to do it. I’d been in a room with him quite a few times before we got together, the first time I was still…

  • BDSM,  Personal

    If Not You

    “I just don’t think I’m that kinky.” I used to have two deal breakers, non-monogamy and non-kinky. I thought they were the two things I absolutely had to have in my relationship. If I had heard that sentence from anyone else I would be writing about being single again. But honestly, if I can’t have a kinky relationship with my partner then I don’t want one at all. It’s no longer the deal breaker it once was. We aren’t vanilla, but it’s not a sub/Dom relationship either. We have a bit of kink in the bedroom but it isn’t a central part of us either. We have fun with spanking,…

  • Phimosis

    Phimosis From My Perspective

    Following on from Fridays post from my partner about living with phimosis, we’re starting off the week with a post about my perspective. I already knew about phimosis, I’d known two people who had it and were both treated for it with circumcision later in life, however I had never had a partner with it, at least not untreated. And it turns out, it can be incredibly hard to get a doctor to take it seriously enough to actually get that treatment. It’s hard knowing your partner is hurting and there is nothing you can do about it, and phimosis causes both kinds of pain, as he talked about in…

  • Personal

    A Socially Distanced Date

    Here in the UK the lock down has lifted a little, you can now meet up with someone in a public place as long as you keep your distance. So we had our first ever socially distanced date. Which I thought might be called off because of course that would be the day it rained as soon as I left my flat! I finally made an effort to dress up, got my boots on and met my partner somewhere in the middle. We found a quite and as private as we are going to get in London patch of grass and enjoyed some sunshine together. It felt so good to…

  • Memes

    30 Days of Kink – Day 22

    What Do You Think Is Important In Keeping A BDSM Relationship Healthy? How Does It Differ From A Vanilla Relationship? I think the most important thing is the same for a vanilla or BDSM based relationship, communication. They both need a lot of open and honest talk from both sides to work long term. I’ve seen plenty of relationships, including some of my own deteriorate because of a lack of communication. If we do not talk openly and honestly about our needs and desires then they cannot be met. These are also things that change over time which is why you need to keep talking. If you cannot talk to…

  • Everything Else,  Personal

    Staying Sane During Corona

    I know Friday is usually my review day but with everything going on I haven’t actually written one yet. I’ve been busy foraging for food and wondering when I’m going to be able to see my partner again after tonight. As someone who has spent a lot of her life locked indoors looking for an excuse not to go out I thought I’d share some advice on how to not end up clawing the walls. Skype is your friend. If like me you don’t live with your partner video calls are a big thing, if you’ve been in a long distance relationship you’ll know how important things like this are.…